All I want is something NORMAL…is that too much to ask?…apparently…

Last week, In preparing myself for my weekend, I was filled with grandiose visions of the “Great Blow Off” that I was planning on executing when I saw a certain someone…it went a little something like this:

I would see the object of my affection for three straight days…walk right by him everyday without so much as a “Hello handsome” but with a swing of my hips and a flip of my hair, so as to say “You want some of this? It ain’t that easy!” leaving him in the proverbial dust!

Well…now that the moment has passed, and been played over and over in my head…let’s just say…there’s definitely a reason why they say “Dreams are Free”.

Aah…aah…aah. Wait a minute. Before you start prematurely concluding that I simply melted into a puddle of sweet something at first sight of this dude…you’ve got another thing coming. The first day I was utterly successful! I caught sight of him in the distance…walked right by…swung my hips…flipped my hair and BAM! Left him in a mound of dust. The ironic thing, though, was that I waited…and waited…and waited…ALL day to get my chance. So, was I really the victor? Probably not…but it felt good at the time. Let me bask in my glory…brief as it might be.

Did it feel fantastic? Not quite. Create the desired response? More or less…

The next day I never noticed him (although I certainly looked for him)…but apparently, he noticed me…and grabbed my arm as he passed my posse, while I was engaged in conversation and he was on another mission. Like two ships passing in the night. Then later in the day…as my BFF and I returned to our group after a brief visit to the tinkletorium…he was like a sitting duck. Mine for the taking. But my courage abandoned me at the moment I needed it the most and all I could muster up was a wimpy little wave.

Well, Sunday proved to be the day. Again, he was on assignment. (I know I know I know…he’s SO noble…sigh) I was passing in the halls with my cute-as-a-button niece and I had no choice but to say hi. My sense of obligation wasn’t only because we were passing…but made more imperative by the seductive wink and come hither nod he gave me. And of course…during the ensuing conversation he laid it on PRETTY thick…ranging from my “beautiful eyes” to how “pretty” I am…let’s just say, I was left writhing in defeat! He had conquered again! Blasted!

And there you have it. The weekend was over…and no real progress had been made. You see…all I want out of the above referenced person is a “normal” friendship. (Well, maybe not ALL I want…but we have to start somewhere) One like we used to have…where we could discuss life…and just enjoy each other without all of the pressure that comes with the whole “I’m a boy…you’re a girl” thing. I always place the blame squarely on his shoulders…in my exasperation calling him a “weirdo” and other mature names like that. ;) But I am a firm believer that people respond to you based on your response to them. Basically, you get back what you give out…we all play off of each other’s insecurities. So, with that theory in mind…I guess I’m the one to blame for this abnormal relationship. Or maybe not…maybe I just play off of him. Who knows…

All I know is that I wait for the day when the dirty laundry of our relationship is out in the open for all to see…for I fear…only when something is completely stripped naked, bare for all to see, will I get my true understanding. In the meantime…I remain feeling strangely sad about the whole thing…I’ll let Sir Bard sum it up for me:

”O! Learn to read what silent love hath writ! To hear with ones eyes belongs to this loves fine wit.”

…maybe one day :)